Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
