So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
