He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
