I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
