I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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