Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
its not stalking. its research.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
