Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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