I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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