No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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