i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
