If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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