she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
