You really coming over, don't trick.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
