absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
