Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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