We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
