Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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