Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
