can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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