my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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