I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If I had your ass I would rule the world
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
