I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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