I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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