Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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