AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
