shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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