Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
