I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
