I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Sober January is a disaster.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
