I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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