Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
