but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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