Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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