Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
