Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
