I queefed so loud it echoed.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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