Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
