I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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