id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
