those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
So much Jack, so little girl.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
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