Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
