I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i think my cat just said my name.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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