I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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