i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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