btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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