I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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