So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
