OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Randomize
