Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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