Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My ass is underappreciated
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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