Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
