Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Randomize
