woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
