we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
