She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
